Dispositions Of Human Spirits
I’ve been introspective and in pursuit of truth since I was a child; even though I’m sure I didn’t know that’s what I was in pursuit of. I could remember spending hours contemplating and trying to process what life and death really meant at the mere age of five. That was the age I was made aware that my father was murdered and from that point on became a conscious child and more aware of my introspective nature. I think being the middle child and finding joy in solitude afforded me the opportunity to exercise this ability easier and more frequent than my older and younger siblings. Although my familial circumstances made introspection easy for me I don’t believe it’s the reason why; I believe it has more to do with the distortion of my spirit. Dispositions Of HumanSpirits
Around 11 years old was when I was actually able to begin identifying words that resonated with my thought process during introspection. Words like “destiny”, “life’s journey”, “selflessness”, “spirituality” and “awaken”. However, I still was not able to clearly articulate myself but I knew life was about figuring out your purpose; that everyone had a destiny and that I wanted to live a spiritually minded life. Even if I could have clearly articulated myself there weren’t many kids my age to discuss these esoteric topics with and I wondered why. This wondering of why there weren’t many people to dialogue with evolved into my wondering why I was different from my friends and even siblings; I started and could understand not having peers my age to discuss these things with maybe because they were brought up in a different house whole or had a different upbringing… but I thought at least my siblings and I should have similar perspectives. So I did a bit of investigating and my older sisters seemed well-versed in the areas of dreaming, spirits and forces as well as God. These conversations definitely feed my mind and imagination to a point where I became a dreamer. However, my sisters and other siblings still weren’t hitting the nail on the head as it relates to destiny, purpose or self-discovery all elements of self-realization.
It wasn’t until I was around 18 when I had a huge rush of divine insight to answer my many years and questions of “why”. Why are some people different than others in the way their lives pan out, even when in and from the same environment….. or why are some people more spiritually awaken than other even when exposed to the same environmental and familial eliminates. And the answer is “Spiritual disposition”. I remember when the insight rushed to my consciousness like a brain freeze and instead of cringing I rushed to grab a pen and began scribbling frantically everything that was being imparted.
At a very basic level, there are two dispositions of spirits – “filled” or “unfilled” or filled vessels and unfilled vessels. Filled vessels are spirits that have been filled with complete awareness of its intentions once it manifest itself in the physical world. It is an awakened spirit with an agenda to fulfill that will push its physical self and the conscious mind in the direction of its intentions in. Filled vessels or people can be place in an environment but will not be shaped by their environment. These are the people you hear about and meet that just have an ability to traverse and overcome and drive from within.
Unlike “filled” vessels or spirits, “unfilled” spirits are very sensitive to their environments; its shapes their outlook and who they are. They subconsciously and consciously soak up what’s around them because they are not already filled. These spirits have not actualized and are either resistant to its design or in the early stages of its journey. It is very important for unfilled spirits to have spiritual guides as well as regular mentor and positive role models. “Unfilled” shouldn’t be seen as a negative or bad things; it’s just about maturity, awake-ness and actualization. These spirits get to really experience the world.
I remember stopping after writing frantically for about 30 minute straight (which for me was a very long time at that age because I hated writing long notes or passages by hand)…and read what I has written…and realized two things. 1) A long lingering question I always had was finally answered; and two 2) I experienced divine sharing of knowledge for the first time, as the thoughts and ideas captured on my note pad were foreign to me, and I had never had them before.